Can I let you in on a little secret? I didn’t want to have children. To be completely honest, I went through a season of my life in which I didn’t even want to get married.
From an early age, my heart had been plagued with fear about becoming a mother. I had heard one too many labor horror stories and wanted none of it.
So how does an anti-marriage, anti-children blog end up here? Read on to see how God changed the trajectory of my life completely that started with a literal dream.
I wanted to be a career woman and live in a big, bustling city full of nightlife, shopping, and endless things to do. I pursued a degree in music education and a few years later…met the love of my life at church. God had changed my mind on marriage with the most amazing, handsome, God-fearing man.
Before I was married though, I had one of the most life-altering vivid dreams I’ve had in my entire life.
At some point during my REM sleep, I found myself in a labor and delivery room. Everything was hazy, but the doctor placed a newborn baby girl on my chest. I knew she was mine. This child, with her beautiful, blotchy newborn skin, only minutes out of the womb, my womb. I tearfully stared at her beholding this masterpiece that God was entrusting me with. Then I woke up. For a moment I grieved. The dream was so real. I could still smell her scent, still feel her body heat against my chest for what felt like hours after the dream. I wish I could say that my fear about having children went away after that,
but instead I was left with a deep sense of comfort in knowing that I was called to one of the greatest roles a woman can fulfill: Motherhood.
Fast forward 14 years later in which I married and had 3 children of my own (one of which is a beautiful little girl), and I couldn’t be living life more differently than I had planned. And if you don’t think God can speak to you and intervene in a dream, well I hope I proved you wrong in a most encouraging way. I knew very little about homeschooling before we started having children.
I had stereotyped homeschoolers as weird and awkward at best… you know, against-the-grain type people.
But I started observing my sister Courtney, creator of Homeschool Tribe, stay home with her little ones at the time and begin her journey of homeschooling. It was everything I didn’t know I wanted. I didn’t know how, but I knew I wanted to be home with my children. I wanted freedom and flexibility in our schedules, but I also wanted something so much deeper…
to tend and cultivate their souls for the life and work God was uniquely calling each of them to do.
I wanted my children to know and experience God’s Word with their siblings at the kitchen table, memorize passages of scripture and poetry, wander through nature on picturesque hikes, look at beautiful artwork with awe and wonder, recognize and enjoy repertoire of famous composers, steep themselves in quality literature for pleasure, get their hands dirty in the garden or messy baking healthy or not-so-healthy muffins.
I wanted a rich and full education not just of their minds but of their souls.
So much is vying for our attention but also our children’s, robbing and rushing them through childhood. The very meaning of the word vie is to compete eagerly with someone in order to do or achieve something. I wanted to slow down the ticking clock of childhood and be fully present for each milestone, not race through it to graduate and get them out of the house.
Our homeschool journey may have started with a dream and boy do I have dreamy ideals of what I want it to look like, but we are far from perfect. We are human. We go through tough times, rough seasons, grief and loss, medical diagnoses (I’ll save those stories for another time). Many days there are tears…from my children or myself… or both. And with 3 under the age of 10, these days I’m still wiping… everything… tears, owies, counters, and bottoms amongst a laundry list of other spinning plates.
But educating my children at home has been worth every tear, tantrum, and chaotic moment that comes with the job.
This is not a jab at public or private schools. I personally know amazing teachers working tirelessly in the school system today. I pray that God strengthens them in their calling.
But if you as a Mother feel the nudge to homeschool then be encouraged to know that you are being called to the soul-shaping ministry of home education.
I don’t know where you are at in your journey but I want to leave you with this…Fear loves to creep in with every new season of motherhood, but hang onto the truth. The truth is that God will never leave you nor forsake you.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
I pray that you will have the courage to ask the hard questions wherever you are in your journey. If you can’t shake the idea of homeschooling, but are overwhelmed with how to begin, we are here and happy to help. It’s a worthy calling, and one that’s so much easier with your tribe by your side.
Reach out to us at support@homeschooltribe.com.
Happy Homeschooling!